


Cats Only, Please

by lackam



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: AU, Erestor goes right along, Fed up Valar, Gen, Humor, Lots and Lots of pets, Lots of distructions, Non-Graphic Violence, Poor Feanorians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 19:32:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8502595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lackam/pseuds/lackam
Summary: Cirdan explains why Elrond can only have cats as pets.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All main characters belong to Tolkien; I only borrow them for a while.

Title: Cats Only, Please

It was a glorious mid-summer and the inhabitants of Imladris were hosting the bi-decade arts and feats tournament. Many from around Middle-earth had made a special effort to attend as it was one of the few events were everyone could get together and socialize. This year’s events drew a larger than normal crowd. Many could feel the darkness growing and knew that soon such travel and gatherings would become too dangerous. When that time came, many would either sail or cease travel except for business reasons. But today as they sat on the lawn enjoying a light meal before the art competitions began there was much laughter and joy.  
“Children, I have a present for you,” Celebrían said as everyone had finished eating and the dishes had been cleared away. “Now, I know your Ada has been stubborn about letting you have any pets others than cats. I have decided to amend that oversight.”  
The twins beamed eagerly and Arwen squealed in delight. None but Cirdan and Erestor noticed that Elrond had just gone white and sickly looking with his wife’s announcement. Elrond began to panic when his wife pulled close a basket containing wolf cubs.  
“I had one as an elfling and it was a perfect companion,” She began. “So I have decided to gift you each with a wolf cub.”  
“No,” Elrond shouted. “Get rid of them now.”  
“Stop being so unreasonable,” his wife began.  
“You don’t understand,” Elrond stated before trying to grab the cubs.  
Celeborn and Galadriel looked on in shock as Glorfindel tried to stop Elrond from taking the wolves. Arwen was crying and the twins were confused and upset as their Ada tried to take their new pets away. Gildor and Galdor had come over to see what was going on and were shocked. Never before had they ever seen Elrond act in such a manner. It was almost like he was terrified.  
“Daro!” Cirdan shouted loudly enough to stop all movement. “Lindir, take the cubs and put them back in the basket. Take them to the stables and have one of the guards remove them from the immediate surroundings of the living areas.”  
“How dare you,” Celebrían snapped in anger.  
“No Celebrían,” Cirdan said cutting her off. “It is you who does not understand. Elrond is not allowed to have any pet in his housing area other than cats by order of the Valar.”  
That announcement silenced everyone and they all turned to stare at Elrond as he sat down on the grass with his head bowed.  
“You never told anyone, did you?” Cirdan asked him. At Elrond’s shake of head, the mariner sighed. “Gather around everyone, it is time you heard this tale. Elrond is not trying to be mean; he just has never learned to forgive himself for the incident that resulted in the Valar’s edict.”  
Word of Cirdan telling a story about Elrond spread quickly and many came closer to hear the tale including Thranduil and his family. Cirdan waited for everyone to settle before beginning.

“You all know the tale of Eärendil and Elwing having the twins in Sirion, and his subsequent sailing. Elwing grew very sad the longer her husband was gone, and the twins were left to run wild many a time when she took them to the beach. Now, many of the sea creatures enjoyed having the twins play with them and wanted their attention. Elros made friends with the dolphins easily and played with them daily but he ignored most of the other creatures. Elrond felt sorry for the others that Elros ignored and played with them instead. Ossie ensured the sea creatures knew how fragile the twins were and never were they hurt in their play.”  
“One day, the sharks brought a baby great white whose mother had been killed to Elrond. He took pity on the little shark and raised him. Never once was he bitten because the shark grew to love him greatly. Then came the day that the Feanorians attacked the Havens. After Elwing jumped from the cliff, the twin’s nursemaid tried to run with them towards the caves on the beach in an attempt to hide them. She turned the twins loose once on the beach and told them to run. She then used her self as a distraction in order to buy the twins more time to hide. Sadly, it did not work.”  
“Elros was captured easily on the beach, but Elrond had run into the water. When Maedhros came after him, Elrond’s pet shark attacked at his command. Maedhros killed the shark after being badly bitten then captured Elrond. The twin had vowed to make his life miserable. It didn’t take him long to realize that Maglor was an acceptable target too, because he was the only one Maedhros cared about. The twins were settled in Maglor’s Gap before Elrond began his revenge.”  
“First he brought home an egg sack of Ungoliant’s that he found. He hid it in the top of the stable and forgot about it for several months. Come spring, it hatched. Maglor’s Gap was soon overrun with fast growing giant spiders. They killed all of the animals including the horses, and the elves fought a running battle with spiders. They finally had to set the whole area on fire to destroy them.”

“Now you know why I will not let you have a spider for a pet, Legolas,” Thranduil was heard telling his son to the laughter of others.  
“I only want one, not a whole sack,” came the quiet reply. “Besides, you had one.”  
Cirdan just smiled as he heard the remarks and considered how ellon always wanted the most unacceptable pets. Then he continued his story.

“Everyone made the tiring trip to Himring in the cold with no one being the wiser as to where the spiders had come from. There they were lodged with the families of Maedhros’s people. There also, Elrond met a young Erestor and they became fast friends. Elrond took Erestor into his confidence one day and earned a pledge of help in tormenting the elder Fëanorian. So it was actually Erestor’s idea to bring home a bag full of baby wargs the following spring. They managed to raise them to nearly full grown before the wargs turned on them. The two of them ran straight into the middle of the living compound in their attempt to get away when they attacked. Many were hurt before the wargs were brought down and killed.”  
“Elrond and Erestor never told anyone that it was they who brought the wargs near their home. Several years later, while wandering away from their keepers, Elrond found a half grown Oliphant. He played with it and fed it not realizing that it had wandered away from its herd. Come nightfall, the little Mammoth followed him home to the compound. I am not sure exactly how, but Elrond managed to lead that Oliphant right up to the back yard where he tied it to the horse hitch without anyone seeing him. He fed it, then went inside and forgot about it for the night. It was some time before dawn when the Mammoth began crying in loneliness and attracted the attention of the herd. The stampede that ensued when they came to claim their lost baby, destroyed most of the houses. It was a minor miracle no one was killed.”

“And he claims we are destructive?” Elladan said to the laughter of others.  
“How was I to know the whole herd would come running,” Elrond complained. “I was seven at the time and it followed me home.”

“Next, Elrond found a weird shaped snake that he brought home. Elros thought it was cool and asked to keep it. Maglor made the mistake of saying yes thinking it couldn’t do any harm. He changed his mind several months later when it started breathing fire. I hear that he looked rather silly when his brother came to dinner that Yule. Seems Elrond had helped hide the worm from Maglor and it surprised him one morning in the kitchen. It burned his hair to a crisp. The worm disappeared from their encampment that afternoon.”

“I always wondered what he did with it.” Elrond was heard to say.  
“I know exactly what he did with it,” Cirdan commented. “I received it in a steel box as a begetting day present for Gil-Galad. He only kept it alive long enough for the damned thing to set the kitchen on fire. Ulmo was rather glad to take charge of it, as he had been wanted one to study for some time.”  
There was much laughter as the tale was being told. Even Galadriel was smiling widely as she looked at her son-in-law. These were tales that she had never heard before, even from Maedhros, who had kept her apprised of the twin’s well-being while they grew.

“After that, if I remember correctly, it was werewolves,” Cirdan commented.  
“Hey, wait a minutes,” Elrond butted in. “That was Erestor, not me.”  
“But you helped him didn’t you?” the mariner asked to much laughter.

“Erestor had found some small wolves with glowing eyes and brought them home. Knowing his own Ada would not let him keep them, he gave them to Elrond to hide. He hid them in Maedhros’s bedroom. The older brother was on a scouting expedition and didn’t return for several months. He walked into his bedroom, in the middle of the night, upon his return, to be attacked by three werewolves. I still wonder to this day how Maglor never heard or found them. Maedhros was deathly ill for months before recovering. By then, his brother had killed the wolves and punished Elrond rather severely. He had also been given orders for no more pets in the house.”  
“I will give Elrond credit though. His next attempt at a pet was rather spectacular. After Himring was destroyed, the Fëanorians and their people lived in movable tent encampments. They were in the mountains near some caves for the winter when it seems that Nahar wandered away from Oromë one night. Elrond managed to entice him into the cave he and his brother shared. There he corralled him. The twins were older and trusted more, so were left to themselves most of the time when not on duty. It was several months before Oromë entered the camp looking for his horse. Maglor just looked at Elrond and pointed toward the cave. Oromë was not amused to say the least and let Maglor know it.”

“Good for you Elrond,” Galadriel told him. “Oromë was something of a prig about that horse.”  
Celeborn just shook his head and wondered if his wife had tried to steal the horse also. It sounded like something she might have done in her earlier days.

“I still think the real reason the Fëanorians sent them to us on Balar was because of what Elrond brought home next,” Cirdan explained. “He managed to find a baby Balrog.”  
“Baby Balrog?” Glorfindel asked.  
“You did realize there were two types of Balrogs did you not?” Cirdan asked him. At Glorfindel’s confused look, he explained. “There are the large Balrogs, with wings, like you fought who were dark Maiar. Then there was another type without wings that is much smaller. These smaller ones did not have the ability to extend darkness and fear like their bigger brothers, but were just as deadly with fire.”

“Elrond managed to find one and bring it back to camp in an attempt to raise it. He and Elros were burned rather badly trying to train it and that was how he was caught. They arrived, with Erestor, in a boat at our docks several months later. I still think Maedhros considered it a move necessary for survival.”  
“It was some years after the War of Wrath that the Valar’s edict happened though,” Cirdan continued. “Elrond had found an egg along the shore one day while out riding and brought it home. He hid it in the palace until after it hatched and tried to raise it. Not many at the time knew of the hidden passages, and Elrond chose one of the towers to stay in to avoid detection. The dragon, as it turned out, was growing fast and Elrond was having a hard time feeding it. He was called away one night for a feast and had forgotten to feed it before leaving. The smell of the food enticed the dragon and it crept through the tunnels into the walls.”  
“At dinner that night we all heard a strange screeching, but none could determine from where. I had a feeling and asked Elrond if he knew anything. He tried to lie and deny it but finally admitted he had a new pet. About that time, the dragon burst through the dining room wall and attacked the table. It knocked down several columns, sprayed fire all around, and the hall was in danger of collapsing when Ulmo showed up. He put the columns back together and captured the dragon, which put up quite a fight to get to Elrond’s side. He took one look at Elrond and ordered that he not be allowed any pets except a cat ever again under dire threat of punishment. Ulmo must have put the fright in him for he has never disobeyed that edict although he did bend the rules a little.”

“How did he bend the rules?” Thranduil wanted to know.  
“Let us just say it was quite a shock to wake him one morning and find myself pinned to the wall by a sabor-toothed tiger,” Cirdan explained.  
“I thought they all died out before the War of Wrath?” Celeborn asked.  
“They did,” Cirdan said. “Elrond managed to experiment and breed one on a real tiger. Oromë showed up to claim it a few days later and amended to edict to present day cats.”  
“That is why you have always been so adamant about no pets other than cats?” Celebrían asked her husband. At his nod she rose to give him a hug. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”  
“I didn’t think you would understand,” came the quiet reply.  
“Oh Elrond,” she said in exasperation.  
“And I thought my kids were bad,” Thranduil said as he rolled his eyes. “No wonder your parents sailed.”  
“I am beginning to wonder if I was sent back to protect everyone else instead of you,” Glorfindel joked to Elrond.  
Elrond just grimaced. 

Soon, the different artisans left to prepare for the contests as the others walked through the exhibits. Elrond retired to a corner of the yard where he sat in a large chair as he verified the judges’ decisions. Beside him stood two large tigers that competed for his attention when he was not busy.  
“His taste in pets is still a little extreme I see,” Cirdan remarked to Celeborn as they watched him play with the cats.  
“It seems to run in the family though,” Celeborn remarked as they continued walking. “Did I ever tell you about Thingol’s pet warg?”


End file.
